“I’m Number One” by Constantine and Ricky Gervais

I believe in equality as long as you get less.

I’m number one, you’re number two
We’re criminals at large but I’m at largerer than you
I’m number one, you’re number two
I believe in equality as long as you get less

I’m one. You’re one. You’re number two. I’m number two
You may think that you’re smarter, but I’m smarterer than you

I’m number one, you’re number two
You’re lucky to be number two not number three

I can see by the look in your eye, you want to get a bigger piece of the pie
One day you’ll get your chance, but in the meantime
You got to dance monkey dance

Really, I hate dancing

Do it! dance monkey dance, ha ha

I’m number two, he’s number one
I can’t believe I’m working for an amphibian
I’m number two, he’s number one
I’m number one
You know life gone to the dogs when your boss is a frog

I can see it’s just a matter of time before he gone and I’m at the front of the line. It won’t be long until I get my chance
But in the mean time, I’ve got to dance monkey dance

Dance monkey dance. Now, watch me

I’m number one. He’s number one. You’re number two. I’m number two.

I’ll bet you kid. There you go. Now step aside this segment’s through

I’m one, you’re one, I’m number one
Yes, we know I’m
he’s number one
That’s how it’s done


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CPE

I'm routinely overestimated.

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